Have you noticed your partner or loved one’s drinking habits changing lately? Maybe they’re knocking back an extra glass of wine or two with dinner each night or always finding an excuse to stop by the bar after work. If their increased alcohol consumption is starting to worry you, but they still seem to function fine at work and home, you could be living with a high-functioning alcoholic. High-functioning alcoholics can be difficult to spot because they’re able to maintain the appearance of having their lives together despite a serious addiction to alcohol.
Our alcohol rehab in WA helps individuals with issues ranging from low-functioning to high-functioning alcohol dependency. Please reach out today if you have any questions!
What is High-Functioning Alcoholism?
High-functioning alcoholism refers to a situation in which an individual is able to maintain a relatively successful and functional life while struggling with alcohol abuse or dependence. Unlike the stereotypical image of someone with alcoholism who may be visibly struggling with their personal and professional life, high-functioning alcoholics often excel in their careers, maintain social relationships, and handle day-to-day responsibilities, making it challenging for others to recognize the extent of their alcohol-related problems.
Even though high-functioning alcoholics may seem successful, they are still exposed to substantial risks and adverse outcomes related to alcohol misuse. Despite maintaining a façade of having their lives in order, they might grapple with stress, anxiety, or underlying issues. This can lead them to deny or minimize the seriousness of alcohol-related problems, creating challenges for friends, family, or colleagues trying to intervene or provide support.
So, if someone you know never seems intoxicated yet drinks daily, they could be a high-functioning alcoholic, and seeking professional help from healthcare providers, counselors, or support groups can be essential for recovery.
What are the Warning Signs of a High-Functioning Alcoholic?
Recognizing high-functioning alcoholism can be challenging because individuals may hide their drinking habits well due to their ability to maintain a seemingly successful life. However, there are some signs and behaviors that may indicate a person is struggling with high-functioning alcoholism. Keep in mind that these signs are not definitive proof, and it’s essential to consider the overall context and individual circumstances. Some potential warning signs include the following:
They frequently drink alone or in secret. High-functioning alcoholics are skilled at disguising their drinking, often choosing to drink alone or sneak drinks when others aren’t paying attention.
Their tolerance for alcohol has increased. Over time, it takes more and more alcohol for them to feel drunk or buzzed. They can drink amounts that would intoxicate most people without appearing visibly drunk.
They typically consume alcohol in the morning or early in the day, which may be a sign of dependence.
They experience withdrawal symptoms. If your loved one gets shaky, nauseous, or irritable when they stop drinking, it’s a sign their body has become dependent on alcohol.
Their life revolves around drinking. Even though a high-functioning alcoholic may seem to have everything under control, drinking is their top priority. They constantly think about or plan the next opportunity to drink.
Their behavior and personality change when drinking. Look for dramatic shifts in mood or personality, especially increased anger, recklessness, or apathy. These changes tend to become more pronounced over time.
Lying and making excuses. High-functioning alcoholics frequently lie about how much they drink or make excuses for their drinking, like stress at work or insomnia.
While high-functioning alcoholics may not exhibit obvious physical signs of alcohol abuse, over time, there may be subtle changes such as weight gain or loss, red or flushed skin, or bloodshot eyes.
They become defensive or angry when confronted about their drinking habits, which can be a sign of denial.
Living with an alcoholic and spotting the signs of a high-functioning alcoholic can be complex. Understanding and addressing their situation requires patience and empathy. If you find yourself in such a circumstance, it’s crucial to seek support for both yourself and your loved one.
The Stages of High-Functioning Alcoholism
As a high-functioning alcoholic, you may not even realize you have a problem for some time. Your drinking progresses gradually, in stages, as your tolerance builds up and alcohol takes over more areas of your life, while your mental health declines. However, these stages are not always linear, and individuals may move back and forth between them. Additionally, not everyone will experience all stages, and the severity of symptoms can vary.
In the early stages, you’re a “social drinker” who only consumes alcohol occasionally at parties or with friends. But over time, those occasions become more frequent, and the amounts increase. You start having a drink or two after work to unwind, and maybe a nightcap before bed. This is the beginning of the middle stage, where drinking has become a habit and starts causing problems, even if you deny them.
You build up a high tolerance and may experience withdrawal symptoms if you stop, like anxiety, irritability, and trouble sleeping. There are consequences at work or in relationships, but you make excuses and blame others. This stage can last for years as you try in vain to cut back or quit, stuck in a cycle of determination and defiance.
In the late stage, alcohol has taken over. Physical and mental health issues emerge, but drinking is now essential to function. You’ve likely isolated yourself and lost relationships and responsibilities, as keeping your addiction fed becomes the main focus of your life. Some high-functioning alcoholics will hit “rock bottom” here in crisis and become willing to get help.
The good news is that recovery is possible at any stage. Comprehensive therapies, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectal behavior therapy (DBT), and group therapy, have shown significant efficacy in addressing the complexities of alcoholism. Support from family and friends also plays a vital role.
How to Avoid Codependency When Living With an Alcoholic?
Living with an alcoholic, especially a high-functioning one, can be incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing. It’s easy to become codependent, constantly making excuses for their behavior or cleaning up their messes. To avoid enabling their addiction and losing yourself in the process, you need to establish clear boundaries and seek your own support system.
Be very clear when communicating your limits to your loved one. Let them know their drinking is unacceptable and that you won’t make excuses for them anymore or shield them from the consequences of their actions. This may be one of the hardest things you do, but it’s critical for your own well-being and could be the wake-up call they need.
Stop lying to others to hide the severity of the problem or make excuses when they drop responsibilities due to drinking. Don’t take on extra work to compensate for what they can’t do. Allow them to face the natural consequences of their behavior.
Speaking to a professional counselor or joining a support group can help give you perspective and advice for establishing boundaries in a compassionate way. They can also help you work through feelings of guilt, anger, and helplessness.
Talk to close friends or family members you trust about what you’re going through. Let others support you so you have a shoulder to cry on or just someone to vent to on tough days. Become a part of an online community to engage with individuals facing similar circumstances.
Make sure to schedule time for yourself to engage in self-care. Do things each day that you find meaningful or uplifting, like exercising, meditating, or pursuing hobbies. Maintain your own interests and friendships outside of the relationship. Your mental and physical health should be the priority right now.
Seeking Support While Coping with A High-Functioning Alcoholic
Dealing with a high-functioning alcoholic in your life can be an immense challenge. Seeking support from others who understand what you’re going through is vital.
Al-Anon is a support group for friends and family of alcoholics. Attending local meetings will connect you with others struggling with similar issues. You’ll gain wisdom and advice for coping with your loved one’s addiction in a healthy way.
Speaking with a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in addiction and family dynamics can help give you the tools and strategies you need. They can also offer a secure environment for you to share your emotions without fear of judgment.
Reach out to close friends and family members you trust and let them know what’s going on. Ask them to check in on you regularly and offer a listening car. Make sure to also set boundaries to protect yourself emotionally.
As a last resort, you may need to stage an intervention with the help of a professional interventionist. This can be an effective way to express your concern for your loved one’s drinking, set clear boundaries, and encourage them to seek treatment. However, interventions don’t always work and can severely damage your relationship if they are not handled properly. Speaking to a counselor about your options and the potential outcomes is critical.
Ultimately, compelling change in an alcoholic is beyond your control; you can only manage your responses and decisions. Focus on surrounding yourself with individuals who genuinely love and support you. With compassion and support, you can find ways to help your loved one while also protecting your own well-being.
Bayview Recovery Can Assist High-Functioning Alcoholics
If you or someone you know is struggling with high-functioning alcoholism, take a proactive step toward recovery. Bayview Recovery in WA is here to assist you on the path to wellness. Our dedicated team of professionals understands the unique challenges high-functioning individuals face and provides specialized care to address your needs.
From assessment and detoxification to therapy and aftercare, our center provides a comprehensive range of services to support you at every stage of recovery. Don’t let high-functioning alcoholism control your well-being or the well-being of your loved one any longer. Contact us today!
Dr. Dave Cundiff, MD, MPH (Medical Reviewer)
